Let me explain. There have been a number of moments in which I have had time to at least start a post. But then on my way upstairs, I have found my mind (and body) wandering over to the hamper in order to sort out some laundry. "Damn, no more time left to write. Gosh I'm busy." Or, I have found myself moving over to the computer only to take a detour and start clearing out a cupboard. "See, I'm just too busy to write. Just look at all this clutter I have to sort out. By the time I'm done I'll have to go pick up the kids and then there will definitely be no time to write." I think you get the picture.
Of course there are other areas of my life where my mind gets in the way. BIG time. Take football. Up until last week, I had never kicked a ball in my life - except to play with the kids - but had instead stood on the side-line fantasizing about being named (Wo)Man of the Match. Particularly on school sports days, when staff/pupil matches are the highlight of the day. Whenever I've been asked to join the staff team, I have feverishly declined with the blatant lie "I simply don't like football" and that has always made me cringe inside. Because in actual fact, I love football. It's just that a bombardment of thoughts get in the way: "I couldn't kick a ball to save myself, what will everybody think when I make a fool of myself, and heck, how will I know when I'm off-side?!" And of course there's also the whimp in me: "O boohoo, what if I get hurt?!"
Last week there was no time for the avalanche of thoughts to take root. It was sports day, the staff team was one member short and I was picked to fill the gap. "Go on, you can do it," my German colleague said playfully when she saw my apprehension. I was wearing my sports kit, but if the truth be told only because it's comfortable and looks hip. "But...but I can't actually play football, I'll make a fool of myself," I blurted out. "I always make a fool of myself and I love it," said the Art History teacher laughing. Oh. "But...but I won't know when I'm off-side," I stammered. "We don't do off-side," said the librarian. Oh. By the time I got round to the "What if I get hurt" bit, the whistle had been blown and both sides were charging for the ball. And boy, did I charge - like my life depended on it. We drew 1-1 and I can honestly say that I gave it all I had. And that I loved every minute of it. And that I'm ever so grateful for the gentle push I was given. And that what I loved most was the team spirit and camaraderie (there was even a group hug!). The whole experience has left me wanting more.
I can't wait to sign up for the team next year.
The Dutch tradition of St. Nicholas is just around the corner and this always makes me crave baked goods with mixed spice. So last weekend I made a spiced loaf (kruidkoek). It's easy to make, fat free and an incredible treat at any time of the day, especially with a little butter (so no prizes for guessing what my kids found in their snack boxes this week).
Spiced Loaf (Kruidkoek)
adapted from Koken van A-Z by Marin van Huijstee
200 wholemeal spelt flour
4 teaspoons cream of tartar
pinch of fine (sea) salt
100g palm sugar
2 teaspoons mixed spice (Dutch: koek/speculaaskruiden)
- preheat the oven 175 degrees Celsius
- grease a loaf tin with butter or baking paper
- sift flour, cream of tartar, salt, sugar, and mixed spice into a large bowl
- add the egg and a splash of the milk, give it a whisk with an electric hand mixer before adding the rest of the milk and beating until well-blended and smooth
- pour into the prepared tin and bake for 45 minutes (check to see that a skewer comes out clean)