Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Arty farty

At times I find myself dissatisfied with life as it is. With the drudgery of daily activities, demands and obligations. In such moods I fantasise about leaving it all behind, together with hubby M and kids S & N, and starting somewhere new. I imagine us living a life in which every second is crammed with wonderful experiences. Usually in an urban setting, the opposite to where I live. I imagine us living in an enormous loft, tastefully furnished with an array of antiques and all sorts of other interesting objects collected on our worldly travels. This loft would of course be situated in a hip-and-happening part of a foreign city with cafes on the corner selling the best cappuccinos, and delightful little antique shops just down the road. Greenwich Village NY would do very well, thank you.

I don't like myself when I'm in this mood. This particular mood has nothing to do with lapsing into sumptuous daydreams, an activity I regularly indulge in, sometimes even together with M (in which the exciting question "What would we do if we won the lottery?" usually arises). No, this unbearable visitor is called Miss Dissatisfied. And I don't like Miss Dissatisfied. I find her ungrateful and, frankly, she makes me unhappy. 

Just the other day Miss Dissatisfied paid me one of her visits. I had just spent some time looking at sites selling properties abroad (why, I don't know - it's not like we're going to be moving anywhere anytime soon) when I felt those all too familiar jitters in my chest. Call it an agitated restlessness. Next thing I knew my mind started churning out the usual rubbish along the lines of: What a boring place we live in, how uninspiring, surely there must be more to life than this, surely we deserve more?

Funnily enough I was able to send Miss Dissatisfied packing quite quickly. How? By simply observing my thoughts instead of engaging with them. By realising that dissatisfaction is nothing to do with the situation I'm in, but rather with the mood I'm in. By realising that a mood is just a mood, and thoughts are just thoughts, both brought on by spending too much time looking at stuff I don't have. I don't really want to live in New York (though I'd love to visit!) - I'm not even suited to city living, which is far too stressful and noisy for my liking.

I reminded myself that there is nothing wrong with wanting things to be different now and then and taking positive actions to achieve what I want - as long as I remember to see what I already have. And that, in my case, is A LOT.

On that note, I went for a walk in the meadows behind our house....

...where I connected with nature and came back invigorated.

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